Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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