So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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