doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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