i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Bang-toberfest begins!!
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Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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