Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
