I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize