Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
