I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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