i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
