Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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