so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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