just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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