it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I love you.
Bad choice
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
