she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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