Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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