dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
