Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize