but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
