Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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