It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We are two peas in an std pod
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
