im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
