Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
