Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
