are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
