I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
as a side note pls kill me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
