omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dicks are not precious.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
