Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
