You smell like stripper and shame
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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