I heard we made out
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
