If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
