If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
