Fine. I'll sleep in my office
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
