The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
