I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
