i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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