yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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