sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
