dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she peed on how many people?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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