I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
