I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize