u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
