Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
