i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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