Sorry, I don't speak sober.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
