Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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