if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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