how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
