i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize