Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Randomize
