so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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