Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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