i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
