This is not my ceiling
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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