Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
