Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
