come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
