He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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