Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
