I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
