He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize