never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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