Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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