ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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