either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
