Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
