you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
