I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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